Tick, Tock

So, my watch broke....again (this is the second watch this year!). The problem is, I'm one of those people that really, really depends on her watch. I like knowing what time it is, what I'm doing during that time, what I'm going to be doing at a future time, etc. This not knowing has thrown me for a loop. However, I think this may be a blessing in disguise. (What isn't, after all?)

You see, another thing that's going on here (besides a broken watch) is that things are kind-of, sort-of beginning to wind down. We had our last intercommunity novitiate class last week and our final Aquinas classes this week. This means people around us are asking “How much longer do you have left?” and even “Are you counting the days?” However, the problem is that even though the classes are winding down, the novitiate is still going strong. We have Dominican Learning Seminars, papers, presentations (anyone out there have any good insights into the Rule of St. Augustine? Please share!), trips, etc. We are still busy! Formation continues! (Formation always continues!)

I am especially aware of this because, for most of my life, I have not been very good at living in the present moment – I'm always planning ahead or bemoaning what I've missed out on in the past. Usually, near the end of an experience like the CDN, I'd be worried about having to “fit it all in” or “but I'm not ready to leave.” In other, less positive experiences, I'd be worried about exactly how many days were left or planning out my schedule for what comes next. But that's not the case here – I'm not worried about finishing too soon or too late. I'm not overly concerned about what remains to be done or what will happen after. I'm just enjoying this time for what it is, and I'm concentrating on making it as useful and productive as all the previous time here at the CDN has been. That's good enough for now.

So, if you want to know how much time we have left at the Collaborative Dominican Novitiate, don't ask me. My watch broke.

--Kelly

Spring Has Arrived

Here in St. Louis, spring came a lot earlier than I am used to in Chicago and Milwaukee. The flowers are out and some have even lost their petals and are now just providing green for the landscape. Kelly has  taken advantage of the warmer weather and planted many seeds in the flowerbeds and a number of pots on our porch. I have enjoyed watching the bits of green come up and then turn into leaves and hopefully soon flowers and herbs. I often find myself outside talking to the plants encouraging them and becoming excited when I see new growth.

Last Friday, I had the privilege of planning a day of reflection for our CDN community, so I utilized what was given to us outside by focusing on seeds and plants. There is a lot of effort and work going on in the soil as the seed breaks open and is transformed. On the plants journey to the surface it might have to move pebbles and soil around and fight for water. Most of this is going on before we see any progress.

Thinking about this past year, a lot of the work that we have done has been below the surface. Inner growth and struggles that are not obviously apparent to the people around us. We have pushed aside old behaviors and yearned for experiences that nourish and sustain us. Over the course of the year each one of us has blossomed into a unique and strong woman living the Dominican Charism because of the struggles and joys we have been presented with.

--Krissie

Waiting for God

In the Garden where I am called to be,

God has invited me to listen, 

and to be amazed.

In the vastness of the rain,

shelter has been provided

and I am once again reminded I am not in control.

The path strewn before me is unsteady,

rocky, and “slippery when wet”.

Each step I take is filled with caution

and uncertainty.

Where will it lead?

Will I be forgotten as I walk away from “home”?

Will I be welcomed in the newness of who I am becoming?

“Do not hold onto me”.

Christ reminds me that the gift of His love for me is to be shared.

I cannot hold onto the past

while I am being invited to grow.

I cannot relive the familiar

in my attempt to avoid the fear of the unknown.

I have a story to share

that is only a small chapter, a paragraph

in the humanity within which I was created to live.

But without this paragraph, this chapter,

the story is incomplete.

How much God is rejoicing,

for it is not I who waited for God,

but God who waited for me.

- Chris

Germination

Imagine what a seed must go through – there it is, all cozy and warm, surrounded by a familiar darkness, getting to know the dirt particles around it and the worms next door. Then, suddenly, WHAM! Spring hits. All of a sudden all of these changes start happening. Suddenly it's grow, grow, grow, push, push, push. The seed can no longer stay in its nice, comfy home – it has to move upwards into a new and unknown environment.

Of course, we on the outside are unaware of all of this. All we do is look around and talk about how “Spring is in the air!” and admire the beautiful flowers. We admire the changes around us, unaware of what it's like to experience it firsthand.

Yet, there's a reason Easter comes in the springtime of the year. During this liturgical season, we are called to mirror the growth and changes we see around us as part of the environmental season. We are called to do the hard work of pushing ourselves outward and upward, opening ourselves up in new and unfamiliar ways, and exploring different and challenging environments. We are called to transform ourselves, to recreate ourselves anew, and to discover what God has planned for us next.

Here at the novitiate, talk of change is definitely in the air. Though our year here still has several months left to go, we are already noticing changes in ourselves and our relationships, and there's talk of how we will carry these changes back to the familiar soils of our home communities. What types of flowers are coming into bloom here in St. Louis, and will they mix well with the home gardens? How will we change the environment around us, and what change will it work on us? At this point it's difficult to see where things will go. It's like waiting for the bud to open so you'll know the flower's color – there's no way to tell! But that's OK – at this point, we should be less concerned with the final color of the flower and more invested in making sure it's the biggest, brightest, healthiest flower it can be! Onwards and upwards! Grow, grow, grow!

--Kelly

What Does It Mean to be "Prophet"?

This week, we spent our third Tuesday evening at Aquinas, listening to Father Mike Demkovich, O.P. share who Meister Eckhart was, and continues to be through his writings.  In this particular week, Father Mike shared excerpts from multiple sermons given by Meister Eckhart, one of which I would like to share with you. 

“Should the soul know when God is coming she would die of joy and if she knew when He was departing, she would die of sadness.  She never knows when He comes or goes but she perfectly grasps Him when He is by her.”

Have you ever been so excited to see God?  Have you ever had the experience of knowing you were where you were meant to be, met who you were meant to meet, and left either feeling such joy you felt like running or even skipping down the street?  Better still, screech with delight?

On the other side of this “knowing”, have you ever been at the bedside of someone you love who is anxiously awaiting, with joy albeit, to meet their God, while you on the other hand, sit in your sadness?  This person is a gift given by God to help you grow in your own relationship with God.  A gift freely given. 

We never know when the face of God will be revealed to us; or when God will ask us to be present in our “aloneness”.  As I reflect on this week during Lent, what comes to mind is Anna, the prophetess who was in the temple when Mary and Joseph presented Jesus.  Luke’s Gospel is the only one of the four who mentions her brief encounter with Jesus.  Luke describes Anna as a widow, who never left the temple.  But it was the line, “coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.”

I could just imagine something grabbing Anna’s attention, where joy filled her heart, and she had to run and meet her God.  She knew, and she gave thanks.  In that brief moment, God had fed her with food for the journey, and with that, she left her physical space she shared with God to share the Good News with anyone who would listen.

So I ask myself, during my Lenten journey, how have I shared my own encounter with God? Where have I found God?  Have I missed an opportunity to bring God to someone because it didn’t fit in my schedule and felt the need to ask for forgiveness?  Have I taken my sadness back to God, and found in my heart a desire to try again?

Chris

Itinerancy

We are taking the concept of Dominican Itinerancy to heart this week as we embark on Spring Break. We were each sent to travel to a different community to live for the week while ministering in the area. Chris and Kelly both journyed north to Chicago to work with the homless population and also some adult literacy tutoring. They are staying with Maryknoll novices, Dominican Volunteers and Dominican Sisters of Sinsinawa. I also traveled north, but not as far. I am staying with the Dominican Sisters of Springfield, IL. My ministry includes helping at the Diocesan Youth Conference, Ronald McDonald House and the Faith Coalition for the Common Good.

Of course we will also squeeze in some time for sightseeing and fun around the community and ministry obligations.

There will be many pictures and stories to share when we get back, so stay tuned.

--Krissie

EVICTION

Once a week we have a Day of Reflection. Each person in the community takes a turn planning this retreat day with a theme, reflection questions, scripture and a bit of input. This past week, Chris offered us a unique opportunity. Below is what she gave us Thursday night. We encourage you to think through the proposed questions and possibly even embark on the journey. Some of our experiences will be posted later this week.

"You have been issued an eviction notice for failure to pay your rent for the last 3 months.  By 10am tomorrow morning, police will be at your door, and your landlord will begin to nail the doors and windows to your home shut.  Tonight is the last night you can sleep in your bed.  You are aware of only one shelter close enough for you to walk, but their doors don’t open until 3:00pm.  It is located at 4928 Washington Avenue. 

In this shelter, there are no lockers, and about 30 bunkbeds in one room for women.  You are expected to be out by 8am the next day, and there is no guarantee there will be a bed available each night.  You have $20 in your pocket, and your SSI (supplemental security income) will not be automatically deposited to your checking account for 3 more weeks.

You know no one in the area who will offer space for you to stay.  You have been through this before, and have overstayed many-a-welcome and have not been able to reimburse your friends for the time they once gave you to stay.  As a result, they have told you not to return.

For the next 17 hours, reflect on the experience of receiving an impersonal note stating simply, “You are being evicted from your home.  You have 24 hours to remove your belongings.  All items that are left will become the property of your landlord.  If you are able to pay your outstanding balance within 72 hours, you will be allowed to return.”

Discern what is most important for you to take on your journey, keeping in mind the miles you will have to walk, and the insecurity of the shelter where you will hopefully stay.  Please pack these items, and take them with you for the day, from 10am (eviction takes effect) until 3:00pm (when the “shelter” opens).  What is most important to you, and why?  Keep in mind you have $20 cash which is to last you 3 weeks.

As you journey through your day, ask yourself the following questions:

     1. How did I perceive people looking at me?

     2. How did I feel as I walked?  Stopped for lunch? 

     3. What were my feelings as I closed the door one last time?

     4. What did I take with me?  After I left, as the day went on, did I wish I had something I chose to leave behind?

When you return, what is the first thing that you do?  Why was this “first thing” so important to you?

Reflect on one of the following readings, or on one God may have put in your heart as your day went along.  When we come together at 4pm, if you feel called to, share why this reading meant something to you, and how you may have read this reading differently based on your experience.

Matthew 26:6-13- Jesus anointed at Bethany

John 6:1-15- Jesus feeds the five thousand
1 Kings 17:7-16- The widow at Zarephath
Luke 16: 19-31- The rich man and Lazarus
Matthew 9:20-21- The hemorrhaging woman