The movie 12 Years A Slave was recommended by my
spiritual director, a wise, learned, and deeply spiritual Dominican Sister, who
suggested that I look specifically for the points of grace in the movie. I saw
it with a couple of fellow novices, one a Dominican like myself, and the other
a Franciscan. The setting of the movie was the time of slavery in the US. It
recounts the experience of a free, educated Black man from the North who was
kidnapped and sold into slavery in the South. There he endured 12 brutal and degrading
years under two different masters, until finally a sympathetic White man took
the risk of contacting someone from the North who could vouch for his free
status and take him back home to his family.
At one point in the movie I wept so hard that I had to
stifle the sound of my cries with my scarf. One of his fellow slaves, driven to
complete despair, had begged him to kill her, which he refused to do. She
assured him that he would not go to hell for slaying her because it was merciful,
and God Himself was merciful, but he remained unconvinced. [SPOILER ALERT! Later on he was
forced by the master to beat her with a whip, which he did, because he was
placed in a no-win situation.] Then the most difficult moment: lying face-down
at a table and screaming in pain while the wounds on her back were being
treated, she gazed up at him, her eyes revealing the hideous torment that she
carried in her very soul.
In my time in the novitiate, I have come to an acute
awareness of something profound and true about myself: that in my heart I carry
all the seeds necessary to have become any one of the people in the story,
given the right circumstances - the amoral, the despicable, the victimized, the
hopeless, the one paralyzed by self-interest, the sympathetic, and the courageous.
I think we all do, whether or not we would like to admit it. We are made by God
with a vast capacity for both good and evil. And there but for the grace of God
are we not led into great temptation, for we are weak and feeble against it.
And should evil have knocked at our door and we gave in to it, as it did the
torturous slave masters in the story, would we even be aware of it, except to
see the result of our actions or inactions looking back at us in the eyes of
those we have hurt?
There is a climactic moment too in the Gospel of John,
which helps me to hold both the reality of the cruelty that we are capable of
and God’s immutable and immeasurable love. In John 17, Jesus prays to God out loud, right before He willingly enters into His
Passion. He prays on behalf of His followers for God to protect them in the
Name He had given them, to consecrate them in truth, and to protect them from
the evil one, so that they may be gathered and united in the love that God has
had for Jesus since before the foundation of the world. For me, Jesus’ mission
and vision statements are contained in this prayer. Love is hard, but choose it
anyway; the point is for everyone to grow in love.
In the story, God was paradoxically present to the
slaves and protecting them in that even while they were being tortured and
debased, they did not lose all hope. All of the slaves, as well as those
sympathetic to the abolition of slavery, were consecrated and remained
steadfast in the truth of their dignity and right to freedom. And yes, it took
a long time and many were the casualties, but freedom eventually prevailed.
These are the points of grace. No one but God, Who is the source of them, can
take them away.
How does this apply to our
lives today? Are we able to see the truth of when we oppress and when we are
oppressed? Do we look carefully into the eyes of those who are marginalized, find
mercy in our hearts, and have the courage to help them and those who seek to overturn
the systems that put them in the margins to begin with? Do we speak the truth to
our oppressors with courageous, compassionate, and steadfast hearts? Do we
participate fully in an arduous love that gathers and unites us as one or do we
sit in the sidelines and let injustices continue? In this beautiful world that is
at times difficult to live in, can we get in touch with, and live out of, the
points of grace in our own lives?...for surely, that is where love comes from.