Thursday, March 21, 2013

Farewell from Alexa

In his Chronicles of Narnia series, C.S. Lewis created a peaceful place called the Wood Between the Worlds. Scattered amid unfolding growth of grass and trees were a series of glistening pools—each leading to a different world. In the story, some children journey to a pool of a ruined magical palace, a pool containing Narnia, and a pool containing modern London. I have come to the realization that I was trying to live in two pools at the same time, and unable to fully live into either. There is the beautiful world of religious life and intimacy in community, and there is the world of fully expressing my art and imagination. In the last few weeks, I have found myself in a place like the peaceful woods, and knowing that I needed to choose which path to continue on. With the help of my community here, and the presence of the Holy Spirit, I have come to the difficult decision of journeying on in a pool different from religious life. I may return to the Wood Between the Worlds in the future, but for now I have a sense of both sorrow and peace that my journey is taking a different road. I thank everyone for their prayers, support, and love during my time of discernment—you will always be with me. Namárië, mellon nin

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though we pass them by today,
Tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the Moon or to the Sun.

— J.R.R. Tolkien

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