Ten years ago, I was given the gift of spending 2 weeks in Cuernavaca, Mexico as part of a peace and justice mission trip. Today, the album of pictures and my journal sits open on my dresser. A quote speaks to me…
“Knowledge had opened the door to compassion… To take the risk of loving, we must become vulnerable enough to test the radical proposition that knowledge of another and self-revelation will ultimately increase rather than decrease love. It is an awe-ful risk.”
In the weeks since we began this journey together, I have felt challenged, torn, confused, and tested more than I have ever been. Someone once told me I was on a “two year career path”, and as I approach the two years since I began the official process of discernment, I recognize the churning that is within me.
I have learned through our vows class, that the difference between living a religious life, and living the life of a Christian layperson is the fact that we, as religious, live in intentional communities. As much as we don’t choose our families, we also don’t choose our communities. I have been blessed to grow as a child in one, and as a woman of faith in the other.
I do not know where God is leading me, or how long the journey, but I thank God for the women who continue to say “yes”, who are my example of fidelity. Who encourage me to go where I feel God is calling, though I want to run the other way. Whose love for me teaches me I am worthy of that love, even when I fall and can’t go further. We are each on a journey, and the people we meet along the way are God’s gift.
May our eyes be open to see the gift, our hands be open to receive God’s mercy, our hearts be open to love the God within. And may our faith be strong enough to know it is worth the risk.