So, my watch broke....again (this is the second watch this year!). The problem is, I'm one of those people that really, really depends on her watch. I like knowing what time it is, what I'm doing during that time, what I'm going to be doing at a future time, etc. This not knowing has thrown me for a loop. However, I think this may be a blessing in disguise. (What isn't, after all?)
You see, another thing that's going on here (besides a broken watch) is that things are kind-of, sort-of beginning to wind down. We had our last intercommunity novitiate class last week and our final Aquinas classes this week. This means people around us are asking “How much longer do you have left?” and even “Are you counting the days?” However, the problem is that even though the classes are winding down, the novitiate is still going strong. We have Dominican Learning Seminars, papers, presentations (anyone out there have any good insights into the Rule of St. Augustine? Please share!), trips, etc. We are still busy! Formation continues! (Formation always continues!)
I am especially aware of this because, for most of my life, I have not been very good at living in the present moment – I'm always planning ahead or bemoaning what I've missed out on in the past. Usually, near the end of an experience like the CDN, I'd be worried about having to “fit it all in” or “but I'm not ready to leave.” In other, less positive experiences, I'd be worried about exactly how many days were left or planning out my schedule for what comes next. But that's not the case here – I'm not worried about finishing too soon or too late. I'm not overly concerned about what remains to be done or what will happen after. I'm just enjoying this time for what it is, and I'm concentrating on making it as useful and productive as all the previous time here at the CDN has been. That's good enough for now.
So, if you want to know how much time we have left at the Collaborative Dominican Novitiate, don't ask me. My watch broke.