Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Seed Within

On the corner of my desk is a card with the painting of the Trinity, with a bowl on the table and an empty seat waiting for me. As I look at this picture, I see a tree off in the distance, up on a mountain. Its leaves are a strong contrast to the sky behind it, but it is funny I never paid much attention to it before. I suppose it is my reminder of what is before me, what is behind me, and what is within me. I cannot see the future, and as silly as that sounds, it is also something I am struggling to accept. In the past, when I have begun school, I know I will graduate. Going on for my doctorate was my first educational attempt I never completed. I did not fail in that attempt, I know. When choices I have made lead me to question (doubt), I am always reminded of what I would have missed if what I chose was my will and not God's.

When a tree grows, it does not choose where it will be planted. Whether a bird drops a seed on just the right soil, or a person plants it to enjoy its shade, the tree has no choice but to grow if the soil is rich, or die if its roots have no where to go. It does not know how long it will live, if someone will find it in the right place at the right time, or if someone chooses to move it or God forbid, cut it down. It enjoys the sun when it comes, absorbs the rain when it falls, and provides a home for those who seeks its shelter.
As I continue to look at this picture of the "Old Testament Trinity", I am aware of the waiting that is happening. Both perhaps of the Trinity and its one empty seat, and the tree as its leaves reach toward the sun. How much the tree longs to stretch over the desert that appears to be between it and the Trinity. My desert is long, though many have told me that this year will pass quickly. It is busy, with small seeds of contemplative time that I must seek to find. I am struggling in my present, and while I remember the past, I recall the struggle I had then to believe that "today" would be here at all.

Our journey is an invitation from God to stop, look and take in the life that surrounds us. In the busyness of our days, may we take time to pause, to sit and listen, and to be open to the growth that is within, and around us.


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